It hit me like a brick the day my Husband left me and our two little boys. Six years of marriage just thrown away in a second.
The first I knew of it, was when he came down stairs with his suitcases saying " if I stay, I'll end up cheating on you ".Words I'll NEVER forget.
Our oldest Son looked up at me as if to ask "where's Daddy going ?"
He was so confused by it all, only being five years old at the time. I felt so helpless, all I could do was to cry and hold him close to me to comfort him. Our youngest Son was only a year old and hadn't a clue what was going on.
After a few weeks, I decided to move home to Sheffield to be nearer to my family. The thought of bringing two young boys up on my own, filled me with apprehension and dread.
My family were a great comfort to me and I felt comfort to know that they were all there for me.
I ate at my Mums house and slept on my Sister's attic floor and felt a burden to them all.
After only a few weeks, I found a house to rent privately and couldn't wait to move in. I thought it quicker than waiting for a Council property.
We would have our own space again and could start a new life.
The Landlord knew I was keen to move in straight away and said that if I didn't mind him calling round to finish repairs, I could move in straight away.
I had no furniture at all and I slept on milk crates in the living room, whilst the boys slept on a single mattress someone had given me until my furniture arrived from the Social. Very menial but very much appreciated.
I started my eldest in his new school and finally the furniture arrived.
Thank goodness I'd bought my eldest boy a portable TV the Christmas before, at least we had something to watch.
All went very well for a few weeks after we moved in. I even started seeing someone I had met a few years before, not realising he lived in that area with his Mum.
Now, when you first move into a new house, the Social pay your first month's rent but then it's quite a while before they send you any more until it's all been sorted out. I waited weeks. The Landlord kept on asking me where the rent was and I kept on phoning the Social to ask them where it was. All they kept saying was that it takes time and that the Landlord was very welcome to call them and they would explain it to him .
After a while, the Landlord did calm down about the rent and we went about our business as usual.
One afternoon after collecting my eldest from school, my Landlord came round to finish some repairs on the kitchen cupboards. I offered him a cup of tea and went into the kitchen to put the kettle on, unaware that he was right behind me.
As I reached over to grab the kettle, he put his arms tight around me and said that he would get his rent by other means .
He held my arms to my side and picked me up . At just over seven stones in weight, I wasn't too heavy to carry . He started to carry me upstairs and all I remember is my youngest Son screaming by the side of me " Mummy, Mummy " I tried to kick my way free but I was kicking my youngest Son in the face, so I had to stop.
I knew I had to make it all look like a game, for my boys sake, so I pulled the candlewick bedspread over us. The inevitable happened and all I remember is seeing my eldest Son hiding in a cupboard in the wall to the side of us.
The welfare of my boys was paramount to me and I HAD to keep calm. All I remember is my Landlord saying to me afterwards was " We're still mates aren't we ?"
I called next door and asked if I could use his phone to call my Mum. She wouldn't let me tell my Dad about it, as she was afraid of what he and my Brothers would do and they'd probably get themselves arrested .. I had no one but myself to get through this.I went over to my boyfriend's Mums house and his Brother answered the door. He called the Police and they questioned me AND my oldest Son . They said even though he was only seven, he was my only witness and they would like him to testify in court. I agreed.
My Landlord's Mother lived across the road from me and came banging on the front door, all guns a blazing, to have a go at me the next morning . She was furious, as any Mother would be if their Son was accused of rape I suppose.
The Police came and told me I HAD to move out immediately for my own safety.
We were sent to a safe house in Doncaster,leaving ALL our belongings behind, where we lived for seven months , until I got a Council house in a place called hell ...
Saturday 25 February 2012
Saturday 4 February 2012
Toddlers ..
I had two Brothers older than me and a Brother younger than me back then . Mum told me that she was half way through my Brother's first birthday party, when she set off into labour with me .. I must have seen the party and thought " I'm having some of that " .. I came so fast, that Mum had to give birth to me at home upstairs. My Auntie, Mum's younger Sister, saw me born and is my Godmother .
My Brother and I grew up, always having two birthdays, being as he was born the day before me but a year earlier . People thought we were twins . We're still very close to this day .
The naughtiest thing I remember doing, was arguing with my little Brother over a book I had and he wanted . I had it on the top of one of those huge fire guards with the mesh top. I pushed him backwards and on to the hot fire ashes from the night before. Not on purpose I might add .
His backside was really blistered bless him . I remember he had dressings on there for weeks afterwards and he cried every time they had to be changed . I didn't feel any remorse back then. So young to realise the consequences of my actions .
I've apologised to him since and we laugh about it now but oh my goodness, what a little Minx I was..
Dad fitted us a pair of speakers in the bedroom, so we could listen to music he was playing . I always loved Mario Lanza's " Guardian Angels". Such a beautiful song . I remember "Speedy Gonzales" playing too and "Mr Baseman "..
Sunday morning's were special to me back then . I would wake up to hear wonderful music, then go downstairs to a full English breakfast, followed by my Dad sitting me high up on a stool, or a box on a chair, taking my hair up into a bun to go to Sunday School.
He did this EVERY Sunday and I'll always cherish the memory of it .
This was the same stool Dad used to pull our loose baby teeth out with a " special " pair of pliers he kept especially for the task .. Mum STILL has all our baby teeth in a jar somewhere, as I have my boys too.
The most frightening thing that happened to me, was when a fight broke out in the yard one day . Two of the neighbours were fighting over something and nothing and Mum made us all get under the table in the kitchen . I could hear milk bottles breaking and lots of scuffling noises coming from the outside toilets as they fell in and out of them, I was SO scared . Grandad came to make sure we were all okay when it was over .
Dad was furious when he got home. I think he tore a strip off the pair of them later .
My Brother and I grew up, always having two birthdays, being as he was born the day before me but a year earlier . People thought we were twins . We're still very close to this day .
The naughtiest thing I remember doing, was arguing with my little Brother over a book I had and he wanted . I had it on the top of one of those huge fire guards with the mesh top. I pushed him backwards and on to the hot fire ashes from the night before. Not on purpose I might add .
His backside was really blistered bless him . I remember he had dressings on there for weeks afterwards and he cried every time they had to be changed . I didn't feel any remorse back then. So young to realise the consequences of my actions .
I've apologised to him since and we laugh about it now but oh my goodness, what a little Minx I was..
Dad fitted us a pair of speakers in the bedroom, so we could listen to music he was playing . I always loved Mario Lanza's " Guardian Angels". Such a beautiful song . I remember "Speedy Gonzales" playing too and "Mr Baseman "..
Sunday morning's were special to me back then . I would wake up to hear wonderful music, then go downstairs to a full English breakfast, followed by my Dad sitting me high up on a stool, or a box on a chair, taking my hair up into a bun to go to Sunday School.
He did this EVERY Sunday and I'll always cherish the memory of it .
This was the same stool Dad used to pull our loose baby teeth out with a " special " pair of pliers he kept especially for the task .. Mum STILL has all our baby teeth in a jar somewhere, as I have my boys too.
The most frightening thing that happened to me, was when a fight broke out in the yard one day . Two of the neighbours were fighting over something and nothing and Mum made us all get under the table in the kitchen . I could hear milk bottles breaking and lots of scuffling noises coming from the outside toilets as they fell in and out of them, I was SO scared . Grandad came to make sure we were all okay when it was over .
Dad was furious when he got home. I think he tore a strip off the pair of them later .
Thursday 2 February 2012
My early years
I am the oldest Daughter in a family of seven children and the only one to be born at home in Attercliffe Sheffield. Maybe that's why I suffer from home sickness very easily whenever I have to go away. I grew up in the same yard as my Grandma and Grandad and my Aunties, Uncles and Cousins, so it was always a family affair whenever parties were held for whatever occassion .
I always remember my Uncle for his singing and his Dormobile and another Uncle for his motorbike and side car where my Auntie used to sit.
I loved living so close to my Grandma and Grandad. They always used to stick up for us when the old man next door pinched our ball. She would bang on his door and shout abuse at him until he gave it back .. Fiery but loving was my Grandma ..
One of my earliest memories of Attercliffe, was one of the younger neighbours dancing to The Twist out in the yard .. It was a regular thing and I loved to watch her . Maybe she gave me the performing bug, I don't know.
I always remember hearing my Dad singing. He was a Tenor and sang like Mario Lanza then . He looked like him too, with his red hair and the quiff .. I was in awe of his beautiful voice . Mum would sing along as she cooked and cleaned too, although she told me that to this day, she's never heard my Dad sing. She used to sing in the Salvation Army and played the Tambourine. It was inevitable that at least SOME of us would get the performing bug as we grew older . I used to dance and sing while I stood on my Grandma's wall outside her front door. I especially remember singing " Watching all the girls go by " And also " Leaning on a lamp post " for some reason . I remember twirling my umbrella as I danced and sang .. A proper Shirley Temple I was ..
I always remember my Uncle for his singing and his Dormobile and another Uncle for his motorbike and side car where my Auntie used to sit.
I loved living so close to my Grandma and Grandad. They always used to stick up for us when the old man next door pinched our ball. She would bang on his door and shout abuse at him until he gave it back .. Fiery but loving was my Grandma ..
One of my earliest memories of Attercliffe, was one of the younger neighbours dancing to The Twist out in the yard .. It was a regular thing and I loved to watch her . Maybe she gave me the performing bug, I don't know.
I always remember hearing my Dad singing. He was a Tenor and sang like Mario Lanza then . He looked like him too, with his red hair and the quiff .. I was in awe of his beautiful voice . Mum would sing along as she cooked and cleaned too, although she told me that to this day, she's never heard my Dad sing. She used to sing in the Salvation Army and played the Tambourine. It was inevitable that at least SOME of us would get the performing bug as we grew older . I used to dance and sing while I stood on my Grandma's wall outside her front door. I especially remember singing " Watching all the girls go by " And also " Leaning on a lamp post " for some reason . I remember twirling my umbrella as I danced and sang .. A proper Shirley Temple I was ..
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